Gardening in a straight jacket

I think I've finally worked out the gardening list for this year.  Maybe.  There may be some minor tweaking as I go along, but for now, this is it.  Please don't feel obliged to read through the list.  Please don't think it necessary to dial 911 either.   But would someone please please please question my sanity on planting 35 different varieties of heirloom tomatoes?

Oh wait, someone already has.  In the form of "HOW many more garden beds do you expect me to build???"

But never mind him, he needs more to do anyway.

Since my personal laptop has been down for awhile now, I don't have access to my gardening database and have had to make do with an Excel spreadsheet.  I have veggie/fruit type, name, vendor, sku, price, days to maturity, height, price, how many seeds come in a packet, and how many I want to plant.  That last one is the kicker.  That's the number that keeps changing depending on my mood and alignment of the stars.  That's the dangerous number.  For instance, 35 tomato varieties is not that bad.  But I like to plant at least two of most varieties.  Paste tomato varieties usually get two or three buddies to hang with.  So if I break out my calculator (not enough fingers and toes for this one) that gives me at minimum 70 tomato plants.

Then you have to add the fudge factor to that.  If I want two plants, then I should sow at least four seeds to make sure two survive.  This may seem like sound thinking to some, but in my case it's detrimental to my sanity.   Inevitably, all four seedlings will germinate and grow into beautiful plants that I can't bear to toss into the compost pile.   Anastasia is probably reading this and thinking "but you're growing some for me this year too!"  Which means if I want two and she wants three, I have to sow at least eight.  

In the end it all means that I need a greenhouse.  A really big greenhouse.

Good thing Glenn has nothing to do.

Oh!  I almost forgot the list. :)

Amaranth	Love Lies Bleeding
Artichoke	Green Globe
Basil	Dark Purple Opal Basil
Basil	Genovese Basil
Basil	Lettuce Leaf
Basil	Lime Basil
Basil	Siam Queen Thai Basil
Bean	Chinese Red Noodle
Bean	Dragon Langeri
Bean	Purple Trionfo Violetto (pole)
Beet	Crapaudine
Beet	Cylindra
Beet	Golden Beet
Borage	Blue Borage
Borage	White Borage
Broccoli	Calabrese
Broccoli	Early Purple Sprouting
Broccoli	Nutribud
Brussels Sprouts	Catskill
Cabbage	Mammoth Red Rock
Cabbage	Perfection Drumhead Savoy
Carrot	Amarillo Yellow
Carrot	Atomic Red
Carrot	Cosmic Purple
Carrot	Snow White
Carrot	St. Valery Orange
Chard	Bright Lights
Cilantro	Slo-Bolt Cilantro
Collards	Vates
Corn	Argent
Corn	Chires Baby Corn
Corn	Sugar Buns
Cucumber	Boston Pickling
Cucumber	Dragon's Egg
Cucumber	Little Tyke
Cucumber	Parisian Pickling
Cucumber	Yamato Extra Long (Japanese)
Eggplant	Blush
Eggplant	Casper
Eggplant	Ebony King
Eggplant	Pandora Striped Rose
Eggplant	Rosa Bianca
Eggplant	Ukranian Beauty
Endive	De Louviers
Fennel	Florence Fennel
Gourds	Crown of Thorns
Greens	Extra Dwarf Pak Choy
Greens	Japanese Giant Red Mustard
Greens	Tyfon (Holland Greens)
Herb	Lemongrass
Herb	Parsley - Italian
Kale	Nero Kitoscana
Kohlrabi	Early White Vienna
Leek	Carantan
Lettuce	Pinetree Lettuce Mix
Lima Bean	King of the Garden
Melon	Banana
Melon	Boule D'or
Melon	Charentais
Melon	Crane
Melon	Kansas
Melon	Million Dollar
Melon	Prescott Fond Blanc
Melon	Thai Golden Round
Melon	Valencia Winter Melon
Onion	Ailsa Craigh Exhibition
Onion	Crimson Forest (bunching/bulbing)
Onion	Egyptian Walking Onions
Onion	He Shi Ko Bunching
Onion	Southport Red Globe
Parsley	Triple Curled
Pea	Knight
Pea	Mr. Big
Pea, Snap	Cascadia
Pepper, Hot	Black Hungarian
Pepper, Hot	Lemon Drop
Pepper, Hot	Tabasco
Pepper, Sweet	Chocolate Beauty
Pepper, Sweet	Orange Sun
Pepper, Sweet	Pimento
Pepper, Sweet	Quadrato D'Asti Giallo
Pepper, Sweet	Quadrato D'Asti Rosso
Potato	All Blue
Potato	All Red
Potato, Sweet	Vardeman (Bush)
Pumpkin	Howden
Radicchio	Rossa Di Verona A Palla "Dragon"
Radish	French Golden
Radish	Green Heart Daikon
Radish	Purple Plum
Radish	Watermelon
Roselle	Red Roselle
Rutabaga	American Purple Top
Salsify	Mammoth Sandwich Island
Shallot	Shallots
Spinach	Giant Noble
Squash, Summer	Benning's Green Tint Scallop
Squash, Summer	Green Bush Vegetable Marrow
Squash, Summer	Lebanese White Bush Marrow
Squash, Winter	Black Futsu
Squash, Winter	Buttercup
Squash, Winter	Cream of the Crop
Squash, Winter	Jarradale
Squash, Winter	Turks Cap
Tomatillo	Pineapple
Tomato	Anna Russian
Tomato	Barnes Mountain Yellow
Tomato	Bloody Butcher
Tomato	Break O'Day
Tomato	Carbon
Tomato	Chocolate Stripes
Tomato	Delicious
Tomato	Egg Yolk
Tomato	Green Pineapple
Tomato	Green Skin Long Keeper
Tomato	Green Zebra
Tomato	Hazelfield Farm
Tomato	Japanese Black Trifele
Tomato	Jerry's German Giant
Tomato	Mountain Princess
Tomato	Orange Fleshed Purple Smudge
Tomato	Pineapple
Tomato	Pink German Tree Tomato
Tomato	Tlacolula Pink
Tomato	White Oxheart
Tomato	White Tomesol
Tomato	White Zebra
Tomato, Cherry	Black Cherry
Tomato, Cherry	White Cherry
Tomato, Currant	Tess's Land Race Currant
Tomato, Paste	Amish Paste
Tomato, Paste	Bonny Best
Tomato, Paste	Huge Lemon Oxheart
Tomato, Paste	Joe Thienemann's Australian Heart
Tomato, Paste	Mama Leone
Tomato, Paste	Orange Oxheart
Tomato, Paste	Pink Oxheart
Tomato, Paste	Polish Linguisa
Tomato, Paste	Roma
Tomato, Paste	Speckled Roman
Turnip	Petrowski
Watermelon	Gold Baby
Watermelon	Orangeglo
Watermelon	Sweet Siberian (apricot colored)
Watermelon	White Wonder
Watermelon	Will's Sugar

Jake Update

It's been a little over three weeks since April rescued Jake, who soon had a sex change at the vet's to become Meghan. 

Huh?

The people that used to keep Meghan tied up in their yard and fed her stones told April that Meghan was a Jake.   You'd think they'd know, right?  So it wasn't until the next day when the vet was feeling Jake's distended belly that they discovered a missing male part and an extra female part.  Yes, April felt really dumb for a bit, but she's over it now.

Meghan is also not spayed, but will be shortly now that she's healthier and has put on TWENTY TWO POUNDS!  Considering part of her weight before had been rocks in her belly, she's probably put on a lot more than that now that the rocks have passed.

April is not nearly as talented with the camera as I am {insert strong sarcasm here}, but these pictures show what a change has come over Meghan just in the past few weeks!

 

 

April is still looking for a good home for Meghan, so if you're out in the CO / WY area and want a really great dog that needs room to run, leave me a comment.

Good job, April!

Indy and his beer belly

Quests' new blanket came in today, so his old one went to Indy. Indy has had a blanket on all winter, but it's one that was Frankensteined from pieces and parts, didn't fit well, and was constantly sliding off to the left. Now he has one of the new Weaver blankets that has a small rip in it, but is still in better shape than the others and fits him a lot better. When I took his old one off I was not happy to find a little rain rot on his butt, but was extremely pleased with the giant hay belly that he's grown since we started buying hay rolls a few weeks ago. His withers still resemble a shark fin, but he seems to be gaining back some of his top line that we had thought might be a lost cause.

He needs a nice bath, but I don't think he'd appreciate one out in the middle of the pasture with cold water when it's -3 degrees outside. I've got some Micro-Tek on order for the rain rot, but I think otherwise he's looking pretty good. Oh, and did I mention Indy has a new home? A woman that has known Indy for years emailed me last week inquiring about him. She knows about his ulcer surgeries and founder history and has loved him as long as she's known him. She needs to build him a pen to keep him off the grass in the Spring, but once that's done she'll be ready to take him. He'll have a couple of cows and another horse to keep him company, and plenty of humans to feed him cookies and scratch his itchies. Indy's registered name is "New Ending", which I think fits pretty well. :)

I promised Laci I'd get some pictures of Hunter on the blog this week. She misses him terribly, but mom and dad just haven't had a chance to finish his fence and shelter yet. So here's your pony, Laci!

Randomness

It is very cold. I mean seriously, does the temp really need to be in the negative?? And do we really need to be so dumb as to forget to leave the water running last night? Glenn felt the need to wake me at 5:30 this morning just to tell me he couldn't take a shower because a pipe must have busted in the cellar. Did he really think I cared that early in the morning? I'd been up and down all night thanks to my insomnia and had finally fallen back to sleep around 4. I had to get up at 6 to feed anyway, so why couldn't he grant me those final 30 minutes? Would it have been so hard to accept defeat and body odor all by himself?

I bought four of these Weaver canvas blankets 10 days ago (but not from that company). All four blankets were ripped down the sides within a week. Sadie's was the first to rip. Little Miss Easy Going is not rough on blankets and it's not like my pastures are full of wither-high briars either. Megalia ripped hers next. Then Tabby. Then Quest. Quests' has held up better than the others, surprisingly enough. His is the only blue blanket, the rest are green. Bad fabric? I'm still waiting to hear from Weaver if they are going to replace or refund, but for now ripped blankets are better than nothing in this cold.

Not only does BDD come in a family sized bucket, but he is also available as a comfy bench and butt warmer. Say goodbye to cold butt cheeks with this handy dandy furr-covered seat!

 

Dancing with the Stars, here we come!

When Zeus and Thor play with Heidi, it's usually a no holds barred kind of play where anything goes and hits below the belt are common. Sometimes Heidi is on the bottom of the pile, but usually it's one of the boys. When it comes to playing with Brie, the matriarch of the pack, the rules are a little different. Brie never allows herself to be put down by the boys and there will be NO biting, chewing, or otherwise chomping of her body parts. There will be no chasing her around the couch. You WILL wag your tail at all times to insure play does not turn into fight, and Brie has the final word. Always.

So instead of a rollicking good time, you end up with a doggie jig.

I had the perfect jig music to go with the video, but youtube only wants to play the first second for some reason. Maybe eventually I will become one with the greatness that is youtube.

A face only a mother could love

 

I catch all sorts of odd faces when Thor and Heidi are playing.  That first one was after about 10 minutes of play as Heidi suddenly decided she was done chewing on Thor's leg and walked away.

 

Then there's the fight for ear dominance.

 

 

Thor weighs almost twice as much as Heidi and she is the gentlest most passive dog we have.  But you wouldn't know it as much time as Thor spends on the bottom of the play pile.

 

Do I have to keep asking you to ignore the mess in the background of all inside pictures, or is that coming naturally to you now?

This is a test

I'm trying a new blog writer tool and you are my guinea pigs.  

 

Look deep into my eyes.  Concentrate only on the sound and feel of my purr.    You're getting verrrrry sleeeeepy...   Now I want you to get up, walk to the kitchen, get out the can opener, and FEED ME!!!

 

 

So here I am, taking a nice warm nap, and you have to go and wake me up with the camera flash.

 

If I can't see you, you can't see me.  Now try and take a picture,  evil human!

 

 

Crap, foiled again.

 

This concludes the test of the new blog writer.  Now feel free to go back to your regularly scheduled program.

 

Thank you.

Special Offer

A healthy portion of Big Dumb Dog now comes in a family sized bucket for your convenience.




Glenn and I were just sitting down after dinner when we heard a thump on the door. Glenn opened the door and this is what we found. The handle of the bucket was behind his ears and he couldn't even see. He just stood there wagging his tail and waiting patiently for someone to remove the bucket from his head. Of course we had to take a few pictures and laugh hysterically at BDD's expense first.

Who needs TV?

Sometimes, things just happen

Manny has been thoroughly enjoying his new home. He even made friends with the two bossy Arabian mares and they allowed him to eat with them. He greets his human at the gate every day and follows her around the pasture in play. Just yesterday they were out playing together in the cold and mud, but neither one would have had it any other way. Manny is loved.


Early this morning, Manny's legs folded beneath him for the last time.


He hadn't gone off his feed, he wasn't sluggish and didn't seem sick. Doc had just checked him out in his new home a few weeks ago. There were no injuries and no cause for concern. There wasn't any sign in the mud that he had struggled to rise.


I think Manny's heart had just had enough. Megan is heartbroken and I can't blame her at all. But I hope she realizes that she gave Manny what he needed in his final days... a kind and gentle human all his own.

Spring in December

After weeks of frigid cold, rain, and snow, today was the perfect day to fly a kite. It was 70 degrees and sunny, with a warm breeze blowing from the South. It would have been an incredible day for a ride. Or to finally finish the chicken coop. Or to work on several of the million or so other projects that we have going on in the great outdoors.

Of course I was on-call for work. Do you even need to ask?

But all was not lost! I dragged phone and laptop out onto the porch, threw caution to the wind, and went out to the garden. On December 27th. What was I thinking???

I was thinking that those four bales of straw we bought two months ago weren't going to spread themselves out. I was thinking the perennial herbs weren't going to prune themselves. And with all of the seed catalogs that have been pouring in lately, I was simply in the mood to get dirt under my nails.

#567 on the list of things that I suck at: guesstimating how many bales of straw it will take to put the garden to bed for the winter. Four bales weren't nearly enough -- I need at least five more.

Before I spread out the straw I cut back the herbs. The hyssop and catnip were still not only green, but actually growing. How dare they. Once I cut back the catnip it wasn't long before Woogie took up residence in the bed to roll about in the catnip and purr contentedly in the sun.

At least while I was working in the garden I got to do some horse-watching. After the main herd finished up their morning hay, they all took turns napping in the sun. At first Hunter tried to do the macho thing and stand guard while Meghan and Jewel slept...

but eventually the warmth of the sun was too much even for him and chivalry died right then and there.

I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas! I cleaned house (finally!) and Glenn butchered a few more of the roosters. I think I've said before that we do things a little backwards around here, right? :)